Age: 52 Happy Birthday!
Sex: Male
Sexuality: Straight
Relationship: Enslaved By Mistress
Occupation: Bouncer
Location: colo. springs, CO. USA

My Biography

In the Cumtwatta town of Cumfuckusgalore,
There lived a Cumtwatta named Fuckme Somemore,
Who searched in the gricklegrass all the long day for a gootube to spoogelube her hershee highway.
She wanted a flesh rod of gringulous height,
With blood knots and crinkcrots and bibulous bite,
But the only crotch snorkel that she saw in sight was the Dorkball's,
Which she thought was not the right type.
The Dickwads all lived in Hotshitpopyourcherry,
A place where good Cumtwattas never should tarry,
But who did appear on that scrofulous shore
But the Cumtwatta known as MISS FUCKME SOMEMORE?
The Dickwads all gathered,
The Dickwads all cheered,A fresh, unfucked Cumtwatta
At last had appeared!
Whose splendiforous sphincters
To every Dick shouted
For Wads and more Wads
Deep inside to be spouted!
With wrinklerods handy and ready to spear,
They bent her twatwatta and pushed 'gainst her rear.
They plumbed her tight buttski
And numbed her brownbank,
They rammed it and crammed it
And jammed stinkystank.
While poor little Fuckme could scarce catch her breath,
The long willie weasels near fucked her to death.
And who did arrive to save her dumb ass?
The Dorkball, of course,
Who had loved the bitch lass!
He brought her back home to Cumfuckusgalore,
And wiped the dick gunk
From her southernmost pore.
She asked very sweetly that Dork take her back,
But he said,"FUCK OFF, Fuckme,"
And gave her the sack.
Now she's grungy and spungy and works on a corner
For any degenerate, pushead Jack Horner.
Bending over and over, she opens her squack
For a jigger of whiskey or a bowl of bad crack.
And she wishes to goodness she never did roam
From the Dorkball she married and her happy home.....

A teacher asks her students "What body part increases up to 10 times its size when stimulated?". Suzy shouted out "Yuk! How dare you ask us a question like that! I'm going to tell the Principal and my Mom!".Ignoring Suzy the Teacher asked agian. "What part of the body increases up to 10 times its size when stimulated?". Tommy raises his hand and says "It"s your pupils." "Currect," said the Teacher, "and as for you Suzy I've got three things to say to you 1. You have a dirty mind, 2. You didn't read your homework, and 3. You're going to be very disapointed when you grow up. ha ha ha

Blood spilling dripping from the eyes of compasion
Overwhelming pain and distress
Death moves in fast and silent
Sky turns black
Struggle for one last breath
Heart stops dead silence
It's to close can't move
Extreme darkness
Sudden blinding light
Someone or something calls to you
Can't see to bright try to run
It calls to you
You can't stay away
Must go in
Can't ignore the temptation
Struggle for one last braeth
It over takes you
You go in
No more pain
It's over you're

This was supposed to be a song I was writing for my band about 10 years ago and never finished.

More Funny Shit

Here I sit all alone, not one bong hit did I own. I had checked everyone I know, couldn't find a damb thing though. It seemed the whole town had run dry, not one morsel could I buy. Oh what I would give for just one hit. I was having a T.H.C. fit. I finally gave up and went to bed. While visions of Green Buds blazed in my head. When all of a sudden I heard such a clatter. I sprang from my bed and saw some dude on a ladder . This dude was moving so lively and quik. I knew he was tweekin on some killer shit. He ran through my pad and then disappeared. I was kinda mad and kinda scared. Then what to my wondering eyes did appear a tray full of Green Buds and a cold pack of beer. Then down through my chiminey came with a bound a bag full of Green Buds fell to the ground. I started hittin as fast as I could, man I ain't shitten this shit was good. My lungs were working nearly all night long, my lips went to jerkin from hittin the bong. Before I knew it the whole tray was bare. I'd done gone though it not one bud was there. I had just finished the last beer I had . My party deminished and boy was i sad. I wondered who was that guy, and why he came here. I wondered why he left smoke and beer. Suddenly I heard someone yell let's party tonight, and all I saw was a Harley jam out of sight.........

Lords of Acid - Pretty In Kink