Jopez
My LoA Tour 2017
Gramercy Theater
New York, NY
Oct
26th
The Trocadero
Philadelphia, PA
Oct
27th
About
Age: 38
Sex: Male
Sexuality: Straight
Relationship: Committed
Occupation: The Home Depot
Location: Whaleyville, MD. USA
Friends
28
Crushes
0
Membership

My Biography


Clearly this profile was from lifetimes ago, but i dont have the heart to delete it and write a new one, so this will live on in infamy just like my myspace page that i cant remember the password to.

New and Improved!!!
Okay so I finally got my web page back up so you need to go there for 2 reasons. 1. to hear the awesome song written and performed by my friend Nate. And 2. to watch the video starring my friend nate. Filmed, directed, and edited and put back together by me. With cameos by Shyguy118. So what are you waiting for get your ass over to there and start downloading!
I know that some have had problems in the past with the video. Im hoping because of its size, so i decided to make it smaller. But that wasnt enough for me, so i did a few more things, like cleaned up the colors, now more vibrant, re-captured the video so its no longer missing frames (not choppy anymore), shrank the resoloution. and a few other editing changes. Please download it and let me know how it works and what you thought of the video and the song.



Hey Acid Herd Whats Goin On?

WelCOWme to the seedy UDDERbelly of the internet.

I may look like an ordinary cow but I'm the unofficial Lords of Acid cow. I helped the Lords write a few of their songs like... Mooed bi U, Cowlouse, Hoof sex, A ride with satan's little holsteins, Blowing up your milk, Lover Bull / Lover Cow, Mr Moochoman, Special Mooments, Spank my mooty, and MooMoo U.
Newly credited songs, I sit on milk, and Young Calves (thanx rencito)

Like any good Lords-stock I've got my udders and tongue pierced, no brand yet though.

Dyslexic Woc... Oom


We all know what happens when we masturbate, but have any of you heard the song? No? Well look no further, my friend (Dizzylip) wrote a song about it called Kitty Halos. The songs on my homepage so just use the link at the top or bottom of the page. You'll probably have to right click on the song to save it.


I don't know , talk to me people. The anticipation of waiting for the red bar of happiness and the depression that sets in when it doesn't appear is unbearable. I dont have hoof in mouth, maybe a little mad cow, but who doesn't.

Woo Hoo I've been crushed! It's about time you people found out about the harcore, donkey punch, money shot, porno cow love:)

Hey I was at the phily show so if you were too LET ME KNOW!! I already accidentaly met the person who was standing right beside me! (SweetMissG) How cool is that.

Hey if anyone has any cool/funny pics of cows send em to me, who knows maybe you'll see your cow pic in my profile.


People who rock

Sonicleash <--- My "Brother in Law?" long story hes the reason why im here today... which would make him my Dad?
AcidRose27 <--- My sister (Taught me to praise the Lords....A huge Thanx)
DizzyLip <--- Friend, tell him hes fucking hot!
Shai-Gai118 <--- Another friend (yes I have two!) Can he put it in your butt?
Catchick02 <--- hmmm what can i say...
Rovatakova <--- Cool as shit no matter that the drama says, "Cry me a river"
Hu-Rust-Faw <--- Wheres Dr. Phill when I need him, going on spring break soon...get drunk and call me :)
Devilbunni <--- Still looking for a cure for hornyeye :)
SweetMissG <--- She was checkin me out at the show :)
Draydrax <--- Watch out for the 100 lb pumpkins ;)
MissyHorns <--- You'll never guess what i just ate :)
Purrrr <--- You're Purrrrfect :)
Liquidcore <--- See you next 40 show
Freya7 <--- Ill always be your shower cow
Liquidme <--- One of the 1st people i talked to on here. Hows kansas :)
Zero <--- Ack people know what we look like!
Pornstar <--- Did we ever get on Clara's List?
BloodPupit <--- When are you gonna come braid my hair :)
Sbacomh <--- Weve been to the same shows but never saw each other... someday we will :)
MasterVamp <--- Your party is gonna be kick ass.... Candy Bars

If I forgot you I really didn't, its just a delayed remembering.


And now for...
Jopez'z poetry corner

Roses are red...
Viloets are blue...
I like peanut butter..
Lets fuck!

Roses are red...
Violets are Blue...
Ill get down on one knee...
When you get down on two.

Its in my eyes oh yeah
I can not see oh yeah
That blinding light oh yeah
Is blinding me oh yeah
It's in my locker oh yeah
A fifth of vodka of yeah
It's on the roof oh yeah
A hundred proof oh yeah
It tastes fine oh yeah
Like cherry wine oh yeah
And if we win oh yeah
We get som gin oh yeah
But if we lose oh no
We get no booze oh no

Information is not knowledge
Knowledge is not wisdom
Wisdom is not truth
Truth is not beauty
Beauty is not love
Love is not music
Music is the BEST!
- Frank Zappa -

Casey Jones
Casey Jones was a son of a bitch
Parked his train in a whore house ditch
Walked through the door with his meat in his hand
Said "Howdy ladies im a railroad man"
He lined a hundred of 'em against the wall
Swore to God hed fuck 'em all
He fucked 98 till his balls turned blue
He backed off, jacked off and fucked the last two




Random Jokes to spread around the office

Whats the difference between a rock and a dead baby?
You cant fuck a rock.

Where do you find a no legged dog?
Right where you left him.

What do you call a no legged dog?
It doesnt matter he wont come to you.

What do you do with a no legged dog?
Take him for a drag.

What do you call a deer with no eyes?
No idear. (No eye deer.)

What do you call a deer with no legs and no eyes?
Still no idear.

What do you call a deer with no legs no balls and no eyes?
Still no fuckin idear.




Been Milked?

If you love someone burn them.

Procrastination is like masturbation. It's fun while you're doing it, but in the end you're just Fu*king yourself.

Get off your ass princess....This is war

Keep it greasy so it goes down easy...

Celery with peanut butter and rasins.... ants on a stick or frogs on a log?

Aber becklecker nicht das Sofa, Sofa!

Hey do you Yahoo? type 3:-o in the message for a present from me :)

And while your Yahooing check out my pics
http://photos.yahoo.com/jopez_27

Remember to tip your waitress, just not the cows :)

Praise The Lords