♥ High Heels. Low Morals ♥
"It's not the meaning of life, it's the feeling of
life. Look at that park down there! Just think
of how many loves lost and found, how many
first kisses kissed, how many frisbees lost and
just remember that is your park my friend and
you've got your whole life to walk though it."
Why be difficult when, with a little effort, you can be impossible.
If looks could kill,
you'd still be a douchebag.
The true way to a man's heart is
six inches of metal between his ribs.
If at first you don't succeed, you're obviously not Chuck Norris.
Suddenly, playing with yourself is a scholarly pursuit.
Seduction Assistance for the Sinner
Pentagram: Place on front door, bedpost, forehead, anywhere you want to say, "Hey I'm evil."
Flask: Lighten the mood or dull the shame. Real hedonists keep a steady supply of booze on their person at all times.
Handcuffs: Use these to exercise restraint, or as a conversation piece on your desk at work. Coworkers love it when you rattle these and wink at them.
Naked Photos of Self: Give these to people you might want to have sex with. Slutty is the new black.
Scissors: Oh, the uses are manifold. Make sure to run with them, because you're bad.
Extra Set of Keys: Place in a fishbowl. Wait for stranger to retrieve them.
"Who are you to judge the life I live?
I know I'm not perfect - and I don't live to be
but before you start pointing fingers..
make sure your hands are clean."