Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely
in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside,
thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming -
"WOW-What a Ride!"
It is better to be hated for who you are, than loved for who you are not...
If life deals you lemons, make lemonade; if it deals you tomatoes,
make Bloody Mary's. But if it deals you a truckload of hand
grenades...now THAT'S a message!!
Just remember...if the world didn't suck, we'd all fall off.
If you don't believe in oral sex, KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT!
Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm
When you were born, you were crying and everyone around you was smiling - live your life so that when you die, you are smiling and everyone around you is crying.
ATTRACTION..... the act of associating horniness with a particular person.
LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT ..... what occurs when two extremely horny, but not entirely choosy people meet.
DATING..... the process of spending enormous amounts of money, time and energy to get better acquainted with a person whom you don't especially like in the present and will learn to like a lot less in the future.
BIRTH CONTROL..... avoiding pregnancy through such tactics as swallowing special pills, inserting a diaphragm, using a condom, and dating repulsive men.
EASY..... a term used to describe a woman who has the sexual morals of a man.
EYE CONTACT..... a method utilized by one person to indicate that they are interested in another. Despite being advised to do so, many men have difficulty looking a woman directly in the eyes, not necessarily due to shyness, but usually due to the fact that a woman's eyes are not located in her chest.
FRIEND..... a person in your acquaintance who has some flaw which makes sleeping with him/her totally unappealing.
INDIFFERENCE..... a woman's feeling towards a man, which is interpreted by the man to be "playing hard to get".
INTERESTING..... a word a man uses to describe a woman who lets him do all the talking.
IRRITATING HABIT..... what the endearing little qualities that initially attract two people to each other turn into after a few months together.
LAW OF RELATIVITY..... how attractive a given person appears to be is directly proportionate to how unattractive your date is.
NYMPHOMANIAC..... a man's term for a woman who wants to have sex more often than he does.
SOBER..... condition in which it is almost impossible to fall in love.
I bow to you
My great God
As I breathe your sweet fragrance,
The smell intoxicates me
I feel you and my soul shivers
Your taste I crave
Slowly, carefully I place you in my bowl
With great reverance I bring you to my mouth
The anticipation almost kills me
I let my breath out
The lighter sparks to life and I can't move
It touches you and my hope grows
I take a deep breath
Ahh...your sweet taste fills my mouth
It trickles down my throat
My lungs expand joyishly with you in them
Smoke escapes from my parted lips
And I let you go
My world darkens as you leave
Then I smile, for you are still with me
I feel you
And look! It's my turn again...
RIP Mikey 10/03 My baby