Age: 44
Sex: Female
Sexuality: Bi-Sexual
Relationship: Doin' About Everything
Occupation: Top Secret under covers ;o)
Location: Kansas City area, MO. USA

My Biography
I'm finally going back to Missouri. Been 3 yrs in the making and its about time.

I am in Florida now. Been here for about a week. Still didnt get back to Missouri but that is ok, I like to travel.

I am in Allentown, PA now. Never really did get home but it is not so bad. I have cool friends that I wouldnt trade for the world and a roof over my head. I have been here for a year so far. Wow, it has been a year since Ive had internet... creepy.

I am divorced now...finally single and away from the rat bastard I was so wrong about. I am free now. Free to be me in all its glory and sadness. I am free

Well, to give everyone an update and to tell what my life is like........

Life sux, plain and simple. I grew up in Kansas City, Mo in a broken home sort of. My dad is an alcoholic, molesting bastard. I have four sisters and one brother. My mom is cool but her current husband is an ass. I only half-assed like 2 sisters and love my bro. I have four nephews and one niece which I love with all my heart.

I thought Missouri was bad......
I hated it and thought it was a trap. Just couldnt get anywhere in life. I started to give up when I met what I thought was the love of my life on the net. So I moved to NJ to be with him, got married and now getting a divorce and cant wait til it is final. He is getting intolerable to live with and yeah maybe I could do more housework, but I would rather just go to my room and lock the door. He doesnt talk to me anyway unless he wants me to take pictures. I need to leave this house.

Im trying to get into the reserves. So far, slim chance.
I hate my life here more and more. I dont know what to do anymore. I had given up before, and about to do it again. I am not sure I have anymore feelings about this world 'cept for hate and sadness. I would like to just die sometimes. Just let myself wither away.

I hate when people tell me "Life is what you make of it.", What kind of BS is that anyway. Aside from having children, you dont make life. Life makes you. From the time you are born to the time of where you are, your life has made you what you are. And I am a complete mess. I have a bunch of issues that im tired of fighting with. I feel like I am fighting a war with stick. A dull one at that. I hate my life. Despite what everyone says, you can love others before you love yourself. Who came up with those stupid sayings anyway. The only good thing about me, I feel, is I must be an exeption to every rule. Or maybe I just think too logically.

Could you whisper in my ear
The things you wanna feel
I'd give ya anythin'
To feel it comin'
Do you wake up on your own?
And wonder where you are
You live with all your faults
I wanna wake up where you are
I won't say anything at all
So why don't you slide
Yeah I'm gonna let it slide
Don't you love the life you killed
The priest is on the phone
Your father hit the wall
Your ma disowned you
Somethin' I can't change
I'll live around it
I wanna wake up where you are
I won't say anything at all

The Calling

As I walk through the darkness,
I am beckoned to somewhere unfamiliar.
Called to realms unknown.
In the shadows I see your face,
Never met you but Ive known you all along.
It is your voice that I hear,
No others.
It is your voice that I love.
It is you that fills my soul.
I feel closer but so far from you.
When will this solitude end?
When will the longing go away?
I keep walking.
Beckoned to someplace unfamiliar.

Lords of Acid - Pretty In Kink