Age: 57
Sex: Male
Sexuality: Straight
Relationship: Married
Occupation: Videographer
Location: Canton, MI. USA
Amazon Wishlist: View

My Biography
So I'm supposed to write stuff about me here, huh?

What'cha wanna know?

EX-Computer Monkey - When the organ grinder plays the jing-a-ling music I refuse to put on my little red vest and hat, and scamper off and fix computers. I just fling poo at em.

Freelance Videographer - Now I shoot video of stuff. Make commercials, movies, and fun shit like that.

I'm a tall monkey. 6 1/2 feet tall. Makes it hard to find the little vests that fit.

I'm an old monkey. Although I still have a shiny coat, and don't shed much.

I'm a strange monkey that likes dorky things. Like writing about monkey things.

Don't know why, but monkeys have been, and always shall be funny.

"I don't want to sell anything, buy anything or process anything as a career. I don't want to sell anything bought or processed... or buy anything sold or processed... or process anything sold, bought or processed... or repair anything sold, bought or processed. You know, as a career, I don't want to do that."

-- Lloyd Dobler

Some Faves: (mostly not in any order, mostly)

anime - Air Master * Cowboy Bebop * Escaflowne * Evangelion * FLCL * Gatchaman * Lain * Lupin the Third * Rah Xephon * Uresei Yatsura

movies - 12 Monkeys * Donnie Darko * Le Pacte des loups * Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory * Fight Club * Rocky Horror Picture Show * Kevin Smith's flicks * Versus * Snatch * The Stunt Man * Godzilla * The Matrix * Buckeroo Banzai * Evil Dead * old HK Jackie Chan flicks (Police Story, Project A, Drunken Master II, etc.)

tv - Farscape * Sealab 2021 * Dead Zone * Harvey Birdman * Doctor Who * Space Ghost:CtC * Ren & Stimpy * MST3K * Red Dwarf * Smallville * Monty Python * SCTV * The Young Ones

print - Robert Heinlein * Steven Baxter * the Wild Cards series * Terry Goodkind * Robert Jordan * Roger Zelazny * Phillip Jose Farmer * anything about time travel or alternate realities

music - 7 Seconds * Adicts * Black Flag * Circle Jerks * Dag Nasty * The Damned * Descendents * The Dickies * Dropkick Murphys * GBH * JFA * Ministry * Minor Threat * Misfits * Pailhead * The Pillows * Reel Big Fish * Shock Therapy * SNFU * Social Distortion * They Might Be Giants

Billy Connolly's 14 things I hate about everybody

1. People who point at their wrist while asking for the time....I know where my watch is pal, where the fuck is yours? Do I point at my crotch when I ask where the toilet is?

2. People who are willing to get off their arse to search the entire room for the TV remote because they refuse to walk to the TV and change the channel manually.

3. When people say "Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too". Fucking right! What good is a cake if you can't eat it?

4. When people say "it's always the last place you look". Of course it is. Why the fuck would you keep looking after you've found it? Do people do this? Who and where are they?

5. When people say while watching a film "did you see that?". No tosser, I paid 10 quid to come to the cinema and stare at the fucking floor.

6. People who ask "Can I ask you a question?". Didn't really give me a choice there, did you sunshine?

7. When something is 'new and improved!'. Which is it? If it's new, then there has never been anything before it. If it's an improvement, then there must have been something before it.

8. When people say "life is short". What the fuck?? Life is the longest damn thing anyone ever fucking does!! What can you do that's longer?

9. When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks, "Has the bus come yet?". If the bus came would I be standing here, Knob head?

10. People who say things like 'My eyes aren't what they used to be'. So what did they used to be? Ears, Wellington boots?

11. When you're eating something and someone asks 'Is that nice?' No it's Really revolting - I always eat stuff I hate.

12. People who announce they are going to the toilet. Thanks that's an image I really didn't need.

13. McDonalds staff who pretend they don't understand you if you don't insert the 'Mc' before the item you are ordering.....It has to be a McChicken Burger, just a Chicken Burger gets blank looks. Well I'll have a McStraw and jam it in your McEyes you fucking McTosser.

14. When you're involved in an accident and someone asks 'are you all right?' Yes fine thanks, I'll just pick up my limbs and be off.

Lords of Acid - Pretty In Kink