AlbertP
About
Age: 48
Sex: Male
Sexuality: Straight
Relationship: Single
Occupation: Professional Killer
Location: Asheville, NC. USA
My Biography
*****WARNING*****
~~~THE FOLLOWING CONTAINS~~~
EXPLICIT LANGUAGE,FILTH,
RUDENESS & VULGARITY,
AND IF YOU DO NOT PARTICIPATE IN ORAL SEX-
***KEEP YOUR FUCKING
MOUTH SHUT!!!***
THANK YOU
:)~~~~*********~~~~(:




Roses are red
violets are korny,
when I think of you
Ohh baby I get horny,
Eat me,
Beat me,
Bite me,
Blow me,
Suck me,
Fuck me,
Very Slowly,
if you kiss me,
don't be sassy,
Use your tongue and make it nasty!!!




DONT SWEAT THE PETTY THINGS..
PET THE SWEATY THINGS!!




LOVE IS LIKE MASTERBATION,
SOUNDS LIKE A GOOD IDEA~AT FIRST,
BUT IN THE END~~YOUR ONLY FUCKIN YOURSELF.




FUCK EM- IF THEY CANT TAKE A JOKE,
JOKE EM- IF THEY CANT TAKE A FUCK!!




Sex is bad
Sex is a sin
Sins are forgiven
So stick it in.




How math applies to life:

Scientists have found the average time of intercourse lasts approximately 4 mins and that the average number of strokes is 50 per minute, making the average number of strokes during the average time of intercourse 200 strokes.

Since average length of a penis is about 6 inches long, the average girl would receive 1200 inches of penis or 100 feet per every session of intercourse.

The average girl has intercourse 3 times a week, which equates to 156 times a year. 156 times per year x 100 feet of penis per session of intercourse = 187200 feet, which is approximately 35.5 miles of penis a year.

The average girl starts having sex at the age of 16 and since the average life span of a woman is 75, you can then use the following equation:

35.5 miles of penis per year x 59 years of sex = 2094.5 miles of penis in the average woman's life.

That concludes today's lecture.




Little Tony goes to school, and the teacher says, "Today we are going
to learn multi-syllable words, class. Does anybody have an example of a
multi-syllable word?"

TONY says "Mas-tur-bate."

Miss Rogers smiles and says, "Wow, little TONY, that's a mouthful."

Little TONY says, "No, Miss Rogers, you're thinking of a " blow-job."




EVER HAD YOUR BELLY BUTTON LICKED?
ON THE INSIDE???




TO ALL THE VIRGINS-
THANKS FOR NOTHIN!!!!
Lords of Acid - Pretty In Kink