A bus full of nothing but ugly people crashes, killing everybody. As the whole load of them are waiting at the Pearly gates to enter heaven, GOD decides to reward them for their misery in life by granting them one wish before they enter paradise. He tells them he will grant them each one single wish, and asks the first person in line what they want. The guy thinks for a minute then says" I want to be Gorgeous." GOD snaps his fingers, and the guy is gorgeous. GOD moves to the next person in line and asks what she would like. The lady says" I want to be Gorgeous,too." This goes on down the line. As GOD nears the middle of the line, the guy at the end of the line starts to giggling. The further GOD goes down the line, making everyone beautiful, the harder the guy at the end of the line laughs. By the time GOD gets to the next to the last person, the guy at the end is rolling on the ground laughing hysterically. GOD gets to the end of the line and asks the guy what he would like. The guy catches his breath and says, "Make them all ugly again!!"
SEX is like math.
add the bed,
subtract the clothes,
divide the legs,
and pray you don't multiply!
An old Indian chief sat in his hut on the reservation, smoking a ceremonial pipe and eyeing two U.S. government officials sent to interview him.
"Chief Two Eagles" asked one official, "You have observed the white man for 90 years. You've seen his wars and his technological advances. You've seen his progress, and the damage he's done."
The Chief nodded in agreement.
The official continued, "Considering all these events, in your opinion, where did the white man go wrong?"
The Chief stared at the government officials for over a minute and then calmly replied:
"When white man found the land, Indians were running it,
Women did all the work,
Medicine man free,
Indian man spent all day hunting and fishing, All night having sex."
Then the chief leaned back and smiled... "Only white man dumb enough to think he could improve system like that."