Age: 54
Sex: Female
Sexuality: Lesbian
Relationship: Single
Occupation: Food Service Peon
Location: Baraboo, WI. USA

My Biography
Because NO ONE demanded it...

=^..^= More Cat Haiku =^..^=

The food in my bowl
Is old, and more to the point
Contains no tuna.

Tiny can, dumped in
Plastic bowl. Presentation,
One star; service, none.

My brain: walnut sized.
Yours: largest among primates.
Yet, who leaves for work?

So you want to play.
Will I claw at dancing string?
Your ankle's closer.

Am I in your way?
You seem to have this backwards.
This pillow's taken.

There's no dignity
In being sick--which is why
I don't tell you where.

Seeking solitude
I am locked in the closet.
For once I need you.

Your mouth is moving,
Up and down, emitting noise.
I've lost interest.

The dog wags his tail,
Seeking approval. See mine?
Different message.

Cats can't steal the breath
Of children. But if my tail's
Pulled again, I'll learn.

Most problems can be
Ignored. The more difficult
Ones can be slept through.

My affection is conditional.
Don't stand up,
It's your lap I love.

I don't mind being
Teased, any more than you mind
A skin graft or two.

So you call this thing
Your "cat carrier." I call
These my "blades of death."

Toy mice, dancing yarn,
Meowing sounds. I'm convinced
You're an idiot.

Stuff that is cool (to me, anyways)

In no particular order...

Temple Of Elemantal Evil (once you download the fan-made patches that make the game actually work, it's cool as hell)
Vitamin water (drink the "defense" flavor and you won't catch a cold....serious!)
Final Fantasy (Advent Children rawks)
Cherry Pepsi
General Tso Chicken
Baldur's Gate
Neverwinter Nights
Age Of Mythology (thank you, Sparro :) )
The Muthafuckin' Time
George Clinton
Janet Jackson
80's music (esp. early 80's)
DDR tunes (tho I totally suck at the actual game :"> )
Kittens =^..^=
Getting out of work early

I like the Lords....I like Prince...I collect comics...I play videogames...Iam a wannabe geek...I want to ride Janet Jackson like a pony....OOOHHHH YEAH!!!

=^..^= Cat Haiku =^..^=

You never feed me.
Perhaps I'll sleep on your face.
That will show you.

You must scratch me there!
Yes, above my tail! Behold,
elevator butt.

I need a new toy.
Tail of black dog keeps good time.
Pounce! good dog! good dog!

The rule for today.
Touch my tail, I shred your hand.
New rule tomorrow.

In deep sleep hear sound
Cat vomit hairball somewhere.
Will find in morning.

Grace personified
I leap into the window
I meant to do that

Blur of motion, then-
Silence, me, a paper bag
What is so funny?

The mighty hunter
Returns with gifts of plump birds
Your foot just squashed one.

You're always typing
Well, let's see you ignore my
Sitting on your hands.

My small cardboard box
You cannot see me if I
Can just hide my head.

Terrible battle
I fought for hours. Come and see!
What's a "term paper"?

Kitty likes plastic
Confuses for litter box
Don't leave tarp around

Small brave carnivores
Kill pine cones and mosquitoes
Fear vacuum cleaner

Want to trim my claws
Don't even think about it!
My yelps will wake the dead

I want to be close
To you. Can I fit my head
inside your armpit?

Wanna go outside!
Oh, no! Help! I got outside!
Let me back inside!

Oh no! Big One
has been trapped by newspaper!
Cat to the rescue!

Humans are so strange.
Mine lies still in the bed, then screams!
My claws aren't that sharp....

Cats meow out of angst...
"Thumbs! If only we had thumbs!
We could break so much"

Litter box not there
You must have moved it again
I'll crap in the sink

The Big Ones snore now
Every room is dark and cold
time for "Cup Hockey"

We're almost equals
I purr to show I love you
Want to smell my butt?

Which X-Man is the coolest? - (20 Votes)

Wolverine - 11 (55%)
Nightcrawler - 5 (25%)
Storm - 3 (15%)
Cyclops - 1 (5%)
Jean Grey - 0 (0%)
Nikster is.... - (10 Votes)

Mysterious (oooooooh) - 5 (50%)
A weirdo - 2 (20%)
A dork - 1 (10%)
Do-able - 1 (10%)
Really nice - 1 (10%)
In a perfect world there would be... - (10 Votes)

Peace - 4 (40%)
Huh? - 3 (30%)
Total anarchy!!! - 2 (20%)
Oblivion. - 1 (10%)
The world is already perfect! - 0 (0%)
What operating system do you use? - (10 Votes)

Windows XP - 7 (70%)
Other - 1 (10%)
Linux - 1 (10%)
Windows 98 - 1 (10%)
OS X - 0 (0%)

Lords of Acid - Pretty In Kink